Angry baby on board

My toddler likes to trash-talk cars when we’re stuck in traffic.

I’m not sure where he’s getting that, because I would never ever say anything even slightly unkind about any other driver (ever!), even when I’m stuck in miserable, senseless, frigging gridlock. It can’t be modeling — nooooo!

Well, yes, maybe.

But he takes it to a new level, with new words, and makes it all his own: “You stupid car! You stupid cars!”

“Those cars bad!”

And, perhaps for comic effect, when he says that, he sputters. I’m not sure I’ve always felt I’ve known what it is to sputter, but after encountering an apoplectic two-year-old seething with road rage, I’m pretty sure I understand the term now.

His brother never did this, because when he was 2 he was way too busy shouting down cyclists that tried to run us down as we walked on the bike path/sidewalk right outside our old place.

“Stop! There are signs! You slow down! Look out! Ped-strians! Slow down!!!”

Hmm. Well, obviously he just must have come up with that one all on his own. Yep, that’s my story. –Jillian O’Connor