Parents with small children … may now not board

We had some pretty intense travel time with small kids this week.

Well, one is small, just under 3. The other is small only if we decide to mark him thus because he can kind of fit in a a stroller for a nap if he wants to. And I think he’s small because he sometimes actually wants to get in a stroller and take a nap. He’s, uh, just 68 months.

I’m having some issues with maybe never wanting to get on an airplane again, at least not until the boys are in 16th and 19th grade or so. But my main problem these days is understanding how getting on the plane earlier with tiny combative children –and aren’t they all?–could possibly help anyone. Common sense would dictate that it’s best to delay that process as long as possible. No toddler ever has found sitting in an overheated plane on a tarmac reassuring. Not without tequila. And I hardly ever meet preschoolers who do shots these days.

With all that waiting, we just give them more time to complain, and give those very special overly attentive flight attendants more time to breathe down our necks to put the belt low and tight across their laps.

And yet we all jump to get on that plane early! Is it the special privilege of being first? Did we not win at enough birthday party games? Is it to make up for all those bad lottery ticket purchases? Why why why do we all want to rush on the plane?

Can someone please explain this? Has getting on the plane earlier ever helped any other parents out?–Jillian O’Connor