Put them to work: Part I

The dirty little secret no one will tell you about your kids is that before their first half-decade is over, you’re going to be in favor of child labor.

Sure, we give them ball pits, fun-proofed playgrounds without see-saws, wood chips they must never pick up, and much-needed dance lessons for babies who can’t walk to work out all that energy, but realistically, all they need are jobs.

For one, George Burns stayed sharp not just through childhood but until he was 10,011, or however old he was when he passed away in 1996. How’d he do it? Was it because he portrayed God many times in mediocre comedies? Of course not. It’s because his mom sent him out to work at age 7. He was so advanced, he even got to leave school in fourth grade.

All those jobs we’re told Americans won’t do? Well, I have news for you. Your kids will. They would love to clean toilets, since they spend half their time attempting to put things into or pull things out of it. Make their play time productive time. Self-esteem building.

Have them clean your toilet, and while they’re at it, they can also do that office park down the street. It’s a win-win situation. Think how much you’ll save on swimming lessons if they can get in some water play time and someone else pays them, and thus you.–Jillian O’Connor

What jobs do you think your young child could handle now?  Is he or she currently employed?