No farts for the wicked

When the kids are jumping on their beds, pulling things out of drawers, chanting their little gleeful war chants, pretending to be cats and dragons, and telling us they need a third dinner,… Continue reading

My child is quite advanced: He pretends to eat brains

When you decide to go ahead and have the second kid despite the obvious lack of acknowledgment that you’re not ever going to go anywhere or be able to act like a normal… Continue reading

Put them to work: Part II

Today I found this intriguing New Yorker write-up of a book that suggests young kids might be better off learning to machete the lawn themselves, but only after learning to boil the shellfish… Continue reading

The return of refrigerator art?

The stainless refrigerator that came with our house is, like, so 2011. People who make fridges are now all atwitter about an exciting new finish. It’s so cutting-edge. So avant-garde. It’s … a… Continue reading

Put them to work: Part I

The dirty little secret no one will tell you about your kids is that before their first half-decade is over, you’re going to be in favor of child labor. Sure, we give them… Continue reading

How I spent my summer vacation

My three-year-old is a vicious, scheming, cheating monster – especially when he plays Monopoly or Blackjack. This, at least, is what his six-year-old brother tells me. You might be familiar with this type… Continue reading

Still Life With Milk and Eggs

Today I found 14 shots like this on my iPhone camera. Clearly, our weekly milk deliveries are fascinating events that warrant future artistic studies by a preschooler. (And, yes, we have a milkman.… Continue reading

Go the f%$k to jail: A rerun

The kids are a little older now, but I still have a strong aversion to people setting off minor explosives after the dear little night owls’ bedtime. —————- In the wee hours of… Continue reading

Dum, de, dum, dum!

A burgeoning interest in literacy is great. It can manifest itself in a 3-year-old carefully perusing every Richard Scarry book in the house — after frantically begging Mommy to run upstairs for “the… Continue reading

Sleep, cars and that cursed sky

A while back, I was giving my husband a lift to the airport. One child inevitably fell asleep on the 25-minute drive, which usually does not bode well for a bedtime free of… Continue reading