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Sticker shock

I’ve noticed a few changes in my life lately that I never would have believed six years ago. I now say things like, “We don’t color ants,” to a toddler wielding chalk.  And… Continue reading

Just eat it, eat it, eat it!

Rumor has it that after feeding her three very fussy children, my grandmother found me to be a delight: I ate pretty much everything that was presented to me (especially meat and potatoes,… Continue reading

The road not toddled

My new favorite question is this one from The Younger, as we drive straight up a street: “Are we going this way?” To paraphrase, he is asking if we are going the way… Continue reading

Those darling first-time parents! (Part I)

I’ve found that now that I have two kids, I see the people with a first baby the same way I thought of fifth-graders when I was in high school. Hell, let’s say… Continue reading

Parents with small children … may now not board

We had some pretty intense travel time with small kids this week. Well, one is small, just under 3. The other is small only if we decide to mark him thus because he… Continue reading

The cure for the little boy who grew up too fast

It’s never a good omen when your darling two-year-old greets you with “Hi, Poopy!” shortly before you leave to visit two new preschools. It’s almost as bad as him chanting “Candy, candy, candy!”… Continue reading

Your body is a booger wonderland

Yum, placenta. Comes from inside you, and tastes good, too. But it’s certainly not better than boogers. Yes, I’ve had my boogers drained and encapsulated so I can enjoy them all around town… Continue reading

It’s not a satisfying bunny without the carnage

I love Easter candy, and have many opinions on it. Peeps should not be purple or green. Yellow and pink are enough. Cadbury Eggs should come in one flavor: Creme. Orange and caramel… Continue reading

Wordless Wednesday: Beware!

This is the latest intriguing installment in The Elder’s gallery of creepy existentialist signs. Beware, he warns. You are safe nowhere! And to prove that, he draws lots and lots of arrows. That’s… Continue reading

‘Mommy comes from a different country, Massa – what the heck? I can’t even say it’

I realized I’m a complete mismatch for my current city when I saw a man on the curbside, chopping piles of wood with an ax, and assumed something illicit and dangerous must be… Continue reading