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Beatrix Potter into snuff, canings

In theory, I love the originals of all literature, nothing removed, nothing censored, exactly as the author intended. Except when I find myself scrambling during a reading for an instant euphemism for, say,… Continue reading

Red slashes mean nothing to these short people

Hitting the wrong bottle

A 15-month-old got tanked at a Michigan Applebee’s over the weekend when he was served a sippy cup filled with a margarita, instead of his usual apple juice. So much for fussy toddlers!… Continue reading

Jeer madness

We don’t call people names. Everyone knows that. It’s a big rule with parents, and an even bigger rules in the schools, which are currently primarily occupied with bullying kids into … not… Continue reading

Cape fears

Why do little boys want to play superheroes? “Cars,” Lightning McQueen, Thomas, Percy, I actually got that, even though I’m a girl. “I want a train with a happy face! I want a… Continue reading

Tots sleepless as nightgown bandit terrorizes town

Someone once remarked to me that most traditional lullabies were awful and mean-spirited on the part of the parents, and went something like this: “Go to bed, you little creep! Mom and Daddy… Continue reading

It’s a dirty job

This morning, without even getting permission, I found myself spot-cleaning my husband’s sweater. While he was wearing it. Hey, it had a splotch on it, possibly from a small child’s orifice. What can… Continue reading

Tricks aren’t for kids

There’s something so horribly desperate about first-time parents, especially with a baby who hasn’t started walking yet: “See the blue triangle! Look! Look! A green square! Where’s the letter T? Where’s the T?… Continue reading

Drive-by huggings?

Preschool teachers are very familiar with the tough drop-off. Kids screaming, crying, looking for Mommy. But, even at 18 months, that’s never been my kid. Sure, he might miss Mommy, but he’s smart.… Continue reading

The care and feeding of grown-ups

Parents eat like hunted animals. Right when the way you behave at the table is most important because you have these charming little simian creatures trying desperately to learn every habit and nuance… Continue reading