My child is quite advanced: He pretends to eat brains
When you decide to go ahead and have the second kid despite the obvious lack of acknowledgment that you’re not ever going to go anywhere or be able to act like a normal person again, this part doesn’t usually come up: the three-year-old zombie who stumbles through the house moaning, “Brains! Brains!”
Sometimes, he’ll act like an adorable kittycat, as your eldest did. But, due to early exposure to six-year-olds and their rarefied interests, the rest of the time he’ll pretty much be the toddler undead. And quite good at it, actually.
I’m starting to notice that you can always spot the second-born kids on the playground at an elementary school. The first-born children, often a mile away at the more refined public parks, out of the influence of unsavory grade-schoolers, are usually politely eating their Organic Cheddar Bunnies in their free-trade, PVC-free handmade hats and being lightly admonished that “we use our words with our friends.”
Meanwhile, the younger siblings are coatless and sockless, fighting to the death with the siblings of other big kids, making the fighting scenes in “Django Unchained” look like a game of Candy Land.
Or they’re being informed by the more energetic parents that “Zombies, don’t yell! They moan, quietly.” Mainly, though, they’re being dusted off after falling off the play structure – “Oh, again?!” – and sent back up to their doom.
No worries. Zombies just keep coming back.—Jillian O’Connor
Too funny! And you are right on about the first born and second born kids on the playground! 🙂
I have a nephew that thought Zombies drank Gator-aide thank to his mother. He would walk around shouting “I’m a Zombie! I want Gator-Head.” He didn’t quite get it.
You are right on target! My second born is a fierce warrior, four years younger than his brother but right on the same page in terms of battling it out. What I love is to see the older boys play fight with him, pretending to fall over when he hits them. They give him inhibited punches and let him really beat them up (as much as his four-year-old fists can). As a parent of boys, it seems so sweet to me- the older ones practicing self control like that and helping a little tiny guy feel big. Of course, the parents of girls are always like, “No hitting! Keep your hands to yourself!” which I guess I used to do too light years ago before I realized that play fighting is how guys show friendship and affection. REAL fighting, angry fighting, is a whole ‘nother story!
Love this post! I can totally relate, there is a big difference in the kids (& the parents!) between #1 & #2 at our house. However, my little people tend toward vampirism mostly (i.e. they stay up all night & sometimes bite)
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I had to take my second born son (this was many years ago) to the hospital after he decided to play “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” with his friend. This involved playing tag, in the house, with his eyes closed because “if I see the vampire I’ll die”. Needless to say, he ran right into the doorjamb. The doctor just laughed and said “I have a 3 year old, too!”. My worries about protective services being called for yet another head injury went away!